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Friday, March 18, 2016


And that is putting it mildly.  Normally I watch all the drama from the sidelines, but today I saw something that took a different turn.  I saw a post on FB that though it did not name names, blasted a venue owner for ejecting people that she had felt were disrespecting  her venue by wearing other venue tags.  and to also learned that the same venue was written about in a publication.  Though neither gave the name it did not take a rocket scientist to find just had to ask and I received three private messages telling me.  I said to one that I have never heard of the venue and was it new?  The answer I received was yes but not that new.  So rather than just go along with it all I tp'd to the venue and spoke with the person in question. She was 11 months old.  Now whether this is a new avi or not I don't know since it seems that half of sl does come back as new avis.  I am sure by this point she had calmed down and was no longer on the defensive or she would have cussed me out.  But instead we talked.    We talked about how much the live music works together, supports each other, promotes each other, and comes together with such huge hearts when it comes to helping people and making a difference in the world.  that it is a community that I, for one am, so proud to be a part of.  When I told her what was going on FB, I think she was a bit shocked and hurt.  See what many of us don't stop to think about, is that unless you have a FB account and are friends with people you really don't know you are being discussed or bashed or praised.  It  is the same time with publications, for instance the publication referred to I do not follow.  I have seen too much up and down said about it so I chose not to follow it.  I only follow two and neither is centered on the live music community but rather on all of sl. We wished each other a good day.

In an extremely short time I heard from her again.  another manager had also talked to her and at the same time,  Rather then to allow herself to be upset and go off the deep end, she chose to take ownership of it and apologize.  Later in the evening she talked with me again showing me what she had sent to everyone that had been ejected.  She has given me permission to post in here so here it is:

 hey, just read all you sayd and you are totaly right in  all your saying. i sent this message to 7 people and have so far gotten 4 positive responses
 Hey, im really really sorry for making a big deal out of the tags you used at monday, and i have now changed that rule. hopes you can accept my apology, cause i really dident know how stupid i really was. Burning Hugs.
 feel free to sitate it if you want
 still Braveheart: smiles I am so glad it is working out for you and with your permission I will paste and copy it =                                                                                                       

Many of you are aware, that I tend go with more of a personal touch, so I feel that talking to someone personally is much better than notecards (unless I have to reach many at one time like when you receive notices of this blog)....giggles,

Now here is the most interesting part of the day.  After I spoke with her and she told me she had apologized and changed her rules I went back to FB. and responded in the chat.

 Ok you all me know me well enough that something seems wrong I will stand up for the live music community, venues, etc....I I was able to visit this venue today. Some really interesting things came out....First and foremost she is new to sl only 11 months old....and this is her first attempt at venue. So I ask you how many of can can remember when you were just starting and the mistakes you made. Instead of raking her over the coals about it we talked. We talked about how we are one very large live music community and how we support and promote each other. To be a part of this community as a whole is something to be very proud of (I know I am) Of the huge hearts that are in this community. Here is what came out of that conversation....she apologized ( I think) to the people that were ejected and also changed her rules for her venue. She also wants to work with on on the Stand Up 2 Cancer Fundraiser in the fall. Over all I made a new friend, with what as I see it is a very sweet caring person. Maybe instead of doing our own form of blacklisting and I guess in a round about way a kind of bullying.....we should reach out a hand especially to someone that is so new and just getting her foot wet. Maybe all she needs is some guidance. I also have to admit, that when I landed there wearing of others tags was in the rules and popped up to me as soon as I landed. I myself do not wear venue tag to other venues out of respect to that venue, but never would have thought ejecting someone for it, but it also was not in my was in hers did everyone pay the venue rules any attention when they landed or just disregard them.

Well one would think I cussed people out (which if you know me at all cussing is something I just don't do)  I have to be sooooo very angry that I can't do anything else and even then I apologize for my language before I say it)   I was told no one was blacklisting anyone and that the flavor was to support and promote each other.  I immediately went back and posted the following.

 please do not take it asthat I said anyone was blacklisting or bullying etc.....but more trying to make a point.....we all sti here and talk about her but no one takes times to guide

There was something about that though that truly bothered me. so I went back and read ever post, saved the entire thing so that if anyone ever decided to delete it and accuse me again, well you know.  In going back these were things I saw.....statements like " The sad thing is, I know with certainty, I will never support that venue, in any way. I know of many many others who feel the same. In actuality, her actions have done nothing but backfire on her" or "Well I guess the sad part is I will not be there to support the musicians playing there, through no fault of their own and that just hurts me. The people I support, who I look up to, who I wish to continue following, will be the ones who suffer. Luckily, there are many venues, that are well run, who are friendly, and right there is where you will find me...along with my banned friends grins" Hmmmm now that does not sound supportive or teaching at all.  It sounds plain old mean.  

Last year I had quite a discussion with a venue owner and I actually lost a lot of respect for them.  The shame was one f the venue owners I had known for years, admired and respected her.  I never mentioned not going there because of that to anyone.  Actually for a performer I liked I would still go there, maybe not tip as generously as I used to.....but I would still go and be polite and tip the performer.  Then again I did not wipe them through the mud with FB posts, nor ever told anyone  well the exception of two very close friends, who that venue was.  I have noticed that I was unfriended, but that was probably because they saw themselves in the blog.

Now I will say that when I landed I received a pop up with venue rules and some have pointed out to me that they were not there then..  That could very well be true.  and as far as the profanity sheesh that is daily in every drama in sl.  I have had guests cuss me out when they don't like something I tell them, I have heard every story imaginable in sl about drama.  Even though it would take a lot to offend me that badly and if I hear it I automatically block, until a later point when they can talk rationally.  SL is built on emotions and when emotions run rampant, especially with someone that is newer and not as equipped to deal with it as seasoned veterans....I can only imagine what comes out of their mouth especially on the defense or protecting their own.  

In my opinion, the most important thing is that this venue is willing to listen and accept guidance,  That the live music community grew again.  I am so very lucky that my friends in the live music community are so diverse, some I have to use a translator to talk to.....but each and everyone of us is there because our hearts are there and no one should be badmouthed for that.  Sometimes all that is needed is some patience, empathy and guidance.

Before I hit publish, I have to add that this the first time I have been truly disappointed in the live music community.  I look on FB and see people still talking about this woman...sharing the post and overall spreading negativity,  .I guess I gave people more credit than I should.....I always thought the music community was above those things.  I know this does not represent the entire community but it is making me rethink continuing on within this community.  It makes me sad to see many people still not letting it die.  Thank goodness no one has ever held my mistakes (and there have been many) against me that badly.  Life is too short to spend all that time in negative situations and never doing anything to make them better just spreading negativity.  I have always bragged about what huge hearts the SL live music community has.  Yesterday and today I saw a different side.  So yes this is something I need to seriously think about.  Posts like this make my own credibility questionable as due to bringing in Stand Up 2 Cancer, we are are seen by the entertainment foundation.  I have always prided myself on being a woman of my word, honest with integrity.  This kind of stuff shoots what I have said about the live music industry in the foot.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for intervening and updating us on this matter. Article I wrote was more on the general topic of supporting other venues and vice versa and how it works for so many. The issue that happen to several other day just brought all this to light. Thanks again for helping resolve this.